Let's Not Become The, "Oh, I Helped You Once Society."

We often have a tendency to help someone in dire straights and then believe that when a sense of normal returns we feel we did enough. As a matter of fact, we often think that normal means everything is okay. There are even times when normal comes back that we say, "I helped you already, what more do you expect me to do?" Do we ever stop to think that maybe the individuals we helped should not have been in that situation in the first place? Just maybe, helping should not be seen as a sacrifice or some form of charity, rather it should be seen as doing your part for the greater good.

When help is seen as being done to others distrust may be created from the person received the help. How many times have we witnessed or been a participant in the infamous, "I helped you before, now you owe me motif?" This train of thought creates a cycle where people will be apprehensive to receive assistance from anyone. If they have the capacity to create new circumstances for themselves there is a chance that they have been indoctrinated into a pull yourself by your bootstraps mentality and will negate the ability to be a helping hand towards others in the future. The problem with the pull yourself up by your bootstraps doctrine like Colin Powell (I can not remember which book), and my mentors Dr. Howard Fuller and Ken Williams have shared with me in conversation was, "what if I never had bootstraps to begin with?"A Wikipedia search indicated that this phrase originated in the early 19th Century and was used to describe an absurdly impossible action. What do you think bootstraps would be the equivalent to in our current pandemic? This is a reflective question just for you. I will let you fill in the blank. Furthermore, I have never witnessed anyone accomplish anything great on their own accord. Help from others is essential.

See, the COVID-19 pandemic has provided support for Fullan's theory of change. He classified change in two forms. Think, analyze, change was the first form. I tend to be more of this theory. Then he stated, "most people must see, feel, and then they will change." Inequity existed. Everyone was aware of it even though the degree may have varied. The COVID-19 pandemic has made us see inequity, have the empathy to feel the impact that inequity has on others, and make changes at this moment to try to curb the inequity. The question remains, what will happen after this? One day, the pandemic will end. We will be able to go back outside. We will be able to drink coffee and eat lunch together in restaurants. We will be able to shop in stores versus depending on Amazon. Educators and students will return to their school buildings.

This right here is the problem. We will assume that everyone's normal is at a minimum our normal. The reality is when normal returns there will be people without food, without access to technology and the internet, or without the means to provide for their families without working two or more jobs. In some cases, the world will look to jump upon the inequity that happened when a family could not afford to pay their bills during this time and place a greater degree of stress and strife upon our fellow humans. We will still have students who return to classrooms that will not be academically, emotionally, or socially at the same level as their peers. As a matter of fact, the gaps have a chance of expanding.

The worse part about this scenario is that the people that were often helped have a tendency to be ostracized and vilified for the fact that they needed help.  We say what more can we expect others to do for other people? We want to know, how will this get paid for? Who is responsible?

Newsflash...WE ARE RESPONSIBLE!!! If we created the system that does not mean that we have to allow the system to define us (Blanchard, 2018). WE can CHANGE the SYSTEM!!!

The reality is, we live based off of a Western philosophy of wanting to know intricate details of HOW versus emphasizing the WHY (Knoster, 2000). Simon Sinek (2009) expressed, "people do not buy WHAT you do, they buy WHY you do it!" When we start with the WHY the how and what will follow to create a true movement of change based on a shift in our values and beliefs.

Normally, I would leave a few suggestions of next steps in my blog, but this time I will leave these open-ended questions for your reflection:

What will we do when normalcy returns?

More importantly, why will it return to normal of why will it change?

What role will you play?

As always, thank you for taking the time to read my blog and supporting Hear2MakeYouThink.

References

Blanchard. K., & Broadwell, R. (2018). Servant leadership in action: How you can achieve great relationships and results. Oakland: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Incorporated. 

Fullan, M. (2003). The moral imperative of school leadership. Toronto: Ontario Principals' Council.

Sinek, S. (2009) Start With Why: How great leaders inspire everyo9ne to take action. New York: Portfolio.

Villa, R. A., & Thousand, J.S. (2000). Restructuring for caring and effective education: Piecing the puzzle together. Baltimore, MD: P.H. Brooks Pub.